When you decide to speak with your best friend about the future of your relationship, you may find that her response is a confusing one. Established relationships are founded on both social and emotional connections. She may have informed you that she will never date you and that you shouldn’t date other girls.
This situation is stressful, and you should make a decision about what you want for yourself and for your relationship with your best friend. It is important that you continue to treat her with respect and kindness. You are her friend, and she needs your support while she is confused or uncertain about your future together.
She Said She Will Never Date You
The trouble with her statement is that it holds two conflicting aspects. It is completely acceptable for you to feel confused about her desires because she is being confusing. Because of this, you must determine what she actually wants from the future of this relationship. It is unacceptable for her to make these two statements and expect you to follow through with both desires. She cannot control your emotional relationships with other people while denying a romantic relationship with her.
If she has said this to you, then you need to have a second discussion about the future of your relationship. If she is currently in a relationship with someone else, then she may want you to wait for her current relationship to end. However, this is not fair to her current partner and is a clear indication of how she will treat you in a future relationship together. If she is single, then she may have another reason for not maintaining a relationship with you at this time such as her parents’ rules.
You should attempt to determine what she means when she said she will never date you. If you are certain that she has made a final decision, then you should make a decision for yourself. Base this decision on the fact that if the two of you are not dating, then she cannot control your relationships. It is unfair for her to say that you cannot date other people. If you think that she will genuinely never date you, then feel free to find someone else to date.
She Doesn’t Want Me to Date Other Girls
Now that you have figured out that she will never date you, it is time for you to address her feelings regarding your other relationships. The two of you have had a discussion regarding her reasons for informing you that she will not maintain a relationship with you. Now, it is time to discuss her authority and the influence that she has on your life.
She may feel that your desire to date someone else is a rejection of your mutual friendship. This is not true although she may feel that her feelings are valid. It is true that another relationship will reduce the amount of time that the two of you can spend together. That is why your need to have a direct and honest discussion.
If she doesn’t want you to date other girls, then she is keeping you from having an emotional and romantic relationship. If she is unwilling to establish such a relationship with you, then her position is unacceptable. Each person has the right to control their own life. She has her freedom to have relationships just like you. She may be upset at this point in the discussion, but you need to do what makes the most sense for you.
Concluding the Discussion About Your Future
The reasons for her feelings are valid to her, and you should not dismiss her feelings at any point during this conversation. However, her feelings do not allow her to control your behavior. You have options at this point, and you can share your feelings with her.
First, let her choose if she wants to remain friends when she knows that you should be free to date other people. If this upsets her, ask her if she wants to rethink her decision to never date you. Your next step will depend on what she says and if she changes her mind about never dating you.
She will probably see the logic behind your statement, although she may not be happy about it. This may cause her to take some time for herself to determine what she wants for the future of this relationship. During this time, continue to treat her as you have throughout your friendship. This discussion may help her see that she really does want you as a potential partner, or it will cause her to realize that her request that you do not date other girls was unacceptable. The next time you talk, you can decide on what to do together.